Staying Happily Married

Benard Kagaga

The major question being asked today is, “Can one stay happily married in such stressful times as these?” Is there way? To the faithful the answer is yes! For there is a guide for marriage. Paul the apostle of the Lord gave a “check and balance” for the husband/wife relationship when he said, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything [Wives should also be submissive to the true leadership of their husbands and follow their true ways everywhere, BK]. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her [The husband should love his wife enough to die for her, BK],” (Eph. 5:22-25). This is the marriage where there is God, for God is only with those who abide in His doctrine (2 Jn. 9b).

Today’s marriages are full of problems for those who do not handle them correctly. Sin is the root of all these problems and selfishness is the primary sin. “Selfish ambitions,” (Gal. 5:20) will lead many to hell and we are warned “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” (Phil. 2:3). This ambition is, “we want it our way,” but God said, “the way of man is not in himself; It is not in man who walks to direct his own steps.” (Jer. 10:23) and man’s way is very futile “There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” (Prov. 16:25). This is our spiritual death, for “the wages of sin is death,” (Rom. 6:23). Selfish ambition moves others to meet their agenda regardless of the cost, the cost is unscriptural separation of the married, “A wife is not to depart from her husband But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.” (1 Cor. 7:10-11). This is also applicable to the husband because it is not only the wife to depart, so husbands should also not to depart from their wives. From the above text it is true that the God of the Bible hates separation and on another instance He said, “For the LORD God…hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence” (Mal. 2:16). Folks, marital relationship requires 100 percent giving from both sides not an even 50-50 percent. This is what God demands in marriage, a marriage where a husband can die for the wife. Many times people do forget about “For Better or Worse” the commitment they made at their wedding. Folks, remind yourself always of that commitment and think of the day you were joined together by your Creator, the date and day you will never forget in your life.

And the writer assures that in every marriage there will be times when circumstances are “worse” instead of better but we should remember the vow and look at the Lord’s words “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matt. 19:9). Marriage is for life “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives [under any condition of life except if or involved himself or herself in sexual immorality, BK].” (Rom. 7:2). And we should note that immorality does not have to end marriage if love and trust can be restored and be truly established.

Disagreements have been and always will be in marriage, but we should ask ourselves, “if you cannot agree on a matter that is extremely important to you, what will you do?” The answer is not to terminate the marriage “except for sexual immorality” (Matt. 19:9), but seek counselling to resolve the controversy, Paul’s guideline will help at this point “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph. 4:29-32).

Remember God wants us to be pure and know the time to flee from temptation. Joseph “fled and ran outside.” (Gen. 39:10-13). God will give you a way of escape “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Cor. 10:13).

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