Pre-Marital Advice – Nathan Brewer

Nathan Brewer

This message is intended especially for teenagers and twenty-somethings. So Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, when you’re done reading it, make the kids read it too. Chances are, in the years ahead you’ll be thinking about getting married. Before you do, there are some things you need to know.

First, marriage isn’t dating. Dating is getting dressed up on Friday night and going to a restaurant or a movie. You see each other at your best, happiest, most attractive. Marriage is seeing your mate every day, good mood and bad, sometimes dressed up but usually not. But this is natural. Romance has its place, but the novelty and fun of courtship give way to something stronger, more important.

God created marriage for the mutual benefit of man and woman. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). Marriage creates a bond so close that husband and wife are figuratively one: “and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Husbands and wives are supposed to help each other get through this life and get to eternity.

Second, be careful who you marry. Girls, ask yourselves: “Do I want to raise children with him?” Guys, ask yourselves: “Do I want to look across the breakfast table at her every morning for the rest of my life?” Your happiness will depend largely on whom you marry.

Third, God intends marriage to be for life. Many today treat marriage like it has an opt-out clause—they’ll try it for a while, but if they get tired of each other they’ll find somebody else.

Jesus says there’s only one valid reason for divorcing and remarrying: “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoso marries her which is put away commits adultery” (Matt. 19:9).

God hates divorce. It violates His intention for marriage—one man, one woman, for life. Maybe you are from a broken home. If so, you know the damage that comes from taking marriage lightly. But you can learn from the mistakes of others and do better.

Parents and grandparents—put this information in front of your kids’ eyes. Talk to them about marriage. Tell them what you’ve learned, and help them make good decisions about matrimony. Show them what the Bible has to say about marriage. Let them know how serious this decision is.

If people knew these things before they walked down the aisle, they might weather the storms of married life a little better. Then, life would be happier, and there would be fewer broken homes with children left to pick up the tab for their parents’ mistakes.

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Author: Editor

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